| Hate seeing Sarah in pain... |
[29 Sep 2008|03:17pm] |
Well, since I'm not able to comment on her post, I don't think anyone can, unless
I'm still a LJ noob :P
It's to the point that if I was able to give her part of my tissue/whatever to help her pains, I would. She was on the couch this morning for a while, not even able to move, play with Kaidan, nothing, and that isn't fair at all to her. I was in the room with him, watching Handy Many, ect, and I should have been out there with her instead, just I thought it was helping by keeping him occupied so she could rest = \ I felt like utter shit when I left, when I realized how upset she was with me, and I thought I was doing good.. It just sucks, because there really is nothing I can do, except Love her as much as possible, and be there for her, and this morning I wasn't, but it wasn't like I didn't know, or recognize how much pain she was actually in.
I'm sorry Sarah, I didn't mean to neglect you, that wasn't what I was intending at all babe : (
Although I know it's going to be painful, but hopefully you and I are able to have a good time at the end of this month with our friends, I'm REALLY looking forward to seeing Thrice again, I did not know how good they were going to sound live, and it was amazing ^ ^
I'm really glad I met you, and you've opened me up to other music that I wouldn't have normally known about, it's changed my guitar playing for the better, and really just helped me tremendously, I still need to get Stare at the Sun down, I can play the whole thing, just that mid part that that the guitar plays at the same pace as the bass, I need to work on : )
So, I love you, and can't wait to get home and see you and Kaidan <3
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| ..I am a horrible person.. |
[31 Aug 2008|09:21am] |
I've been fucking up a lot lately, and mostly because I have problems understand what people say.
I guess what I mean is, if someone is joking, or not, just I've always been very gullible and had a had time as a kid up till now with it. It sounds stupid, and petty, but it's affecting my relationship. My soon to be wife could just be joking, and I'll take it all seriously, because of my own insecurities, I guess is what it comes down to.
I know she loves me a LOT, if not she wouldn't be with me still..This much I know, believe me
when I say that. It takes someone with A LOT of patience to put up with what she has. All I can do is feel like complete shit for what I've put her through.. I don't even mean to really, just a childish lash out of anger, and defensiveness all at once, and that's not what you do with someone you love, and are having a family with..
I have a lot of things to work out, and I know it's not good to do that on your own. They have AA for alcoholics, they have rehab for druggies, I need to look toward my wife for answers, and help with my emotional problems, and stress, she understands me, and I know she can help
At the same time, I know I need to look into myself, and there are going to be things
that I need to do on my own.
When you're in a relationship, it should be a team effort, both partners joined
to form one force working together to achieve goals. We keep running into setbacks,
and that's really putting a huge depression feeling on both of us, I mean sometimes I must forget that my wife has a chronic illness, she doesn't talk about it all the time, because she doesn't want to whine about it, when in reality, it's right there in front of my face, and
I need to start looking with her to find things to try to help calm the symptoms/other effects down. She has done nothing but help me with things that I have wanted, or needed to do.
She takes care of me when I'm sick, fucking drove to IRSC to get all the information she could about their classes, I didn't even expect her to, I mean I'm practically crying now typing all this out...All the emotions and feelings are rushing to me, and it's a lot..
I try not to forget things like that, just with everything else going on, things are always pushed aside, or taken for granted, I don't want to be like that. So, no matter how
much I apologize for my ignorance and horrible actions, I need to show her I love her through good intentions, and meaningful actions, nothing else is going to make anything better..
Sarah, I love you, and I am deeply sorry..
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| Random Stuff |
[10 May 2008|11:42am] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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So, I haven't ever really done the Live journal thing, but here I am, heh.
I finally got my dream car, well not the yr, but car
99 Trans Am, black, aka "Shadow" with custom headers, Z Rated tired/Aftermarket Rims, Borla exhaust, SLP intake, MSD wires, "Shift Kit" "Rebuilt Transmission"
(You'll see why I put those in Quotes)
Had a LOT going on in the past few months, but I think me and my girlfriend Sarah have gotten through it ok compared to how others may have handled it. We're just used to getting the shaft on a lot of things.
We've been without our car for about a month, the fucking "Rebuilt Transmission" went out on a car that I bought 2 months ago, so I was like, wtf? They told me it was completely rebuilt, "Shift Kit" ect.
So, we eneded up calling the dealer, they told us it was warrantied, ect ect. So, we go through this horse shit for 3 weeks of "it is covered" "It's not covered" Blah blah. A guy we were dealing with got fired 2x, and on that 2nd time he's gone. Eitherway, they FINALLY agreed to pay half, so I had to wait for my Stimulous check, and took it down to the place that the dealer "Claimed" did the work.
The funny thing is, I had called them already, and they have no record dating back to last Jan, or even before that. So, that didn't settle well with me. Either way, the guy cut me a break, did the work for $1100.00 instead of his norm $1350.00. Everywhere else wanted $1500-$2000
I was like, How about fuck you. So, that was that, heh
So, we got Shadow back, very happy! ^ ^ Gave her a bath today, detailed her, and working on putting in the lights with my Girlfriend : D
That's about all I have for now, until next time.
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